This
blog post on the Chronicle could not have come out at a more opportune time. If you haven't read it please do. She's right. There is life outside the bubble. As my life feels like it is spinning out of control I am questioning everything. I have started to wonder if it's possible to be too obsessed? Maybe in my quest to get better and move up and bring my horses to their top level I forgot about the outside world??? In the bubble I didn't really care about the outside world until it all started to careen out of control. So here I sit questioning everything and taking a step back. It's the only logical thing to do when work life, personal life, and hobby life are all in the pits.
Poppy is at least doing well. Luxxx is another story. As you know he is a tough one. Always challenging me. He has started some bad behaviors and I am not in an emotionally healthy place to deal with them. I have someone coming out to help me with him this week. I will see how that goes and I will either continue with that or send him to a friend's for training. Correct training is so important with these young horses (and also nipping bad behaviors) so I will step back and let someone with a clear head on their shoulders step in.
So that's where I'm at right now. Still here and trying to get a good view of all this chaos and chip away slowly.
It took me losing Carlos to realize I relied too heavily on horses for my entire well being, but I was also partially driven there by my unhealthy and one sided relationships with real people. I've been re-evaluating and rebalancing my life since then and have a much clearer, holistic, and balanced path forward that I am currently working towards. Its tough, and I wish you the best of luck!
ReplyDelete-hugs- Sorry things are so tough for you right now. I'm always around if you need a friend / shoulder / (long distance) drinking buddy
ReplyDeletebalance between work / life / hobbies / etc is definitely something i struggle with, as is knowing when to take a step back. good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! Things will get better :)
ReplyDeleteI will have to read the article... balancing life is hard and always something I struggle with. Enjoying each day is something I am focusing on lately.
ReplyDeleteHugs and hope that you find that balance you are looking for :)
I hear you. You're aren't alone. My bubble was everything, but I realized the toll it was taking. Even slowly smothering me. I don't really know how to live outside it...but I'm trying.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. Small consistent progress is better than leaps and bounds and rollercoasters. Chip away hun.