Thursday, March 31, 2016

Catch Up

Thank you for all the kind words on Nugget.  I miss her so much but also feel lucky to have had her in my life.  I knew I wanted another chihuahua so I started looking into breeders a few weeks ago thinking I would get another down the road.  Then I spoke to a breeder nearby who had this...

Well that was the end of that and this little bundle of cuteness joined the farm on Easter Sunday.

You know what helps feeling sad?  Puppies and horses.  His official name is Panda.  Kung Moo Panda to be exact.

Life hasn't been all about dogs and puppies.  This year has had its ups and downs and I am still trying to find my way.  The good news is I have realized my divorce was a blessing and the best thing to happen to me.  If I can offer anyone any advice it would be do what makes you happy.  Don't force yourself to deal with a mistake or endure living with a negative [not the best word to describe him as he is far worse] person because you feel trapped.  Sometimes you get so used to that dysfunction that it seems normal.  I finally feel happy again and am working on getting back to my old self.  The self before I met him, before I allowed him to change me.

During this journey I didn't feel like riding. I rode occasionally but nothing like before.  I worked ALOT.  A lot!  And spent time with friends.  Unfortunately some people don't want you to be happy and have to sabotage that.  He continues to try to take that from me and although he can steal from me and take all the material things he will not break me.  Everything he does makes me that much more grateful to be divorced from him.  This journey included removing all ties to him.  I cannot have someone in my life who has violated me, my home, lied, and stolen from me.  I learned that those who could not understand this were not my true friends.  No matter how long I had known them.  Unfortunately the owner of the barn I trained with since 1999 did not want to sever ties with him so I chose to change trainers.  This was incredibly hurtful.  Incredibly.  

Change can be good.  In order to move on some doors need to be closed and change is needed to grow.  I have known my new trainer for quite awhile and she was an easy choice.  I felt we share the same training philosophies and she has also been a fan of Poppy since I got her.  The farm is nearby and has a fantastic ring to lesson in.

I was sad to miss showing at HITS this year.  The reality was divorce is freaking expensive (and the nightmare refinance of the farm) and I was not getting enough riding time in to get Poppy fit again.  My horse comes first and it was not in her best interest to show as out of shape as she was.

I swear she is not about to birth a baby elephant...

Daylight Savings and drier weather has enabled me to ride more.  I am entered in a 2 week series in April.  I am really looking forward to getting back in the show ring.  Thank you for sticking by me through my hiatus and I hope you will join me on this road back to the ring...

Friday, March 25, 2016

It Felt Like Time...

I'm not sure why today felt like the day to break my silence but here I am.  If you follow me on Instagram (luvjumperlife) you may have seen that my beloved Mini Nugget passed yesterday.

I knew this day was coming.  A year ago you may recall she was diagnosed with Cushings.  I started her on Vetoryl and changed her diet.  No more cheezits (my horse show staple food), no more horse show food, no more sneaking off to visit the crepes guys.  

At 12 pounds she was a portly chihuahua.  I don't know how you mothers do it carrying around your kids.  By the end of a horse show day that 12 pounds felt like 50.

The new diet helped and Nugget looked great.  I started to think this whole Cushings thing was no big deal.

She was looking good and feeling good.  Then the accidents starts happening again and her vet said try increasing her meds.  I had pee pads everywhere in the house.  She tried but her aim is terrible.  So I put extra pads out.  Pee pads everywhere!  Eventually she couldn't make it through the night and would wake me up to go out.  Great, I can handle once a night.  Then in the last couple of months it became 3 times a night and she was getting thin.  Ok no more diet, eat whatever you want.  The weight loss didn't stop though no matter what I tried.  She was down to 6 pounds.

The vet said just let her enjoy however long she had left.  She got to where it was hard to get her to eat.  I stopped the kibble and tried soft puppy food and that did the trick.  A wonderful friend even made her a couple weeks worth of fresh food which she gobbled up.  Then the going out 3 times during the night turned into every 45 minutes followed by not eating.  She was still her happy sweet Nugget self.  Still ordering the big dogs around but she looked like a skeleton.  I firmly believe that it is our duty as an animal owner to not allow them to suffer. We are able to gift them with the opportunity to leave this world with dignity and without pain.  This week I felt it was time.  I second guessed myself over and over despite friends telling me it was time.  I am fortunate enough to have a friend who is a vet and knows Nugget well and she was kind enough to help Nugget cross the rainbow bridge yesterday.

The only down side to animals is they don't live long enough.  The house and barn feel empty without her.  My dog Soot wouldn't eat his dinner last night.  Somehow the other dogs know.  

I'm sorry for my first post after my hiatus is a sad one but I also know so many people who lived Nugget.  She traveled thousands of miles with me during her 11 years and never missed a horse show.  If we've been at the same show, you've probably met her.  I often went places and people who I had never seen before would yell Nugget when they saw her.  She changed so many people's minds about chihuahuas and small dogs.  Mini Nugget, you broke the mold girl.